I just want to be sipping a margarita on a beach in Mexico.

In one of the other posts I wrote about how Adam and his family wanted to move to Mexico within the next year and I was going with them. Well plans have changed and its not within the next year, its within the next three months. I am terrified.
What I’ve come to from all the different conversations that we’ve had and I’ve heard is this… heres a timeline.
Today is April 26, 2017.
Adam and his mom’s last day of work is June 14th.
Adam is going to a poker tournament on June 16-20th. Hes flying home.
Then he wants to spend a few days getting things together. So we’ll say till June 25th.
Heading to Mexico for what he says is two to three months just on “vacation.”
Then we’re apparently coming back to the US for awhile.

But like it doesn’t make sense….
Why would we come back?! Basically once we leave the US we don’t have anything here. So whats the point? He said he might just love it so much once he gets down there.. So if that happens we won’t be coming back. His mom is keeping the house here so maybe we’ll stay there for a few months and then come back here for a little. I don’t really care at this point. He keeps saying that he doesn’t want me to feel like I have to pick up my life and move for him but that is exactly what I want to do. Then once I say that he’s like okay, good that’s what I want.
He’s said multiple times that he doesn’t really know much about the plans but he knows one thing, and that’s he knows he wants me with him.

He’s amazing. Sometimes I sit back and think my life is just a dream. That any minute I’m just going to wake up and find myself in another reality with someone that sucks. He just has improved my life so much since hes walked into it that one night seven months ago.
We haven’t said those three terrifying words yet, but I need to. I love him so much and he needs to hear that.

The other day we went on a hike and we were just talking about the world and reality and just the what ifs. We always talk about our realities and different life forms and just really interesting things. And he brought up how its a theory that we are all just forms in tubes and theres something or someone just choosing our lives and actions for us. So you sit back and think about it and its… interesting.
If this is a real thing then why did whatever is controlling us put me on the path that I’m on. Why do I have the job I have.. Or why do I hang out with the people that I do? Why did they pick Adam and I to meet each other? Basically why did they choose this path I’m on?

It’s crazy to sit back and think about the world and the reality of it all.


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